Most people find the divorce process difficult at best, I was pleasantly surprised after having a conversation with Dave Jackson who has navigated the Divorce process not once but twice and found that he still had a positive outlook on life. For some the end of marriage brings doom and gloom, but Dave has been able to dust himself off, reflect on his actions, look at what he did, what he could have done and what he can do better in the future.
Dave talks about his first marriage and how the financial burden of trying to conceive and the pressure of not been able to have children resulted in them having to file for bankruptcy. Added to that his wife’s alcoholism and infidelity on her part, the relationship finally broke down and they decided to end their marriage. Dave moved in with his brother who helped him navigate some of the emotions that came with divorce as he too had had a similar breakup.
The second time around Dave did not listen to the red flags that continually raised their heads at the beginning of his relationship. He felt in order to fix his relationship he should get married, however after 6 months of marriage they were in counseling. Dave was continually been told he was abandoning her every time he did solo activities. His wife’s insecurities added to the breakdown of the marriage.
Neither would compromise nor understand each other’s needs and no one wanted to change. After 6 years of counseling Dave was tired and spent emotionally, they were making each other miserable. He believes you can be right or you can be married, so the marriage ended. Dave felt like a failure because he had gone through a divorce once before, he had invested in things like counseling, he had read books and attended retreats, but the marriage still ended.
Dave didn’t want to be that guy living alone with his cat, but he is. But on the other hand he can live the life that he wants to, he no longer dreads coming home to an argument, the stress has left his life and he has found peace and happiness. On reflection Dave has been able to see that he is attracted to people that need help, however if people don’t want to be helped or don’t want to change then this can lead to conflict and misunderstandings within relationships.
If you want to listen to any of Dave Jackson’s podcasts or connect with him you can do this @ http://powerofpodcasting.com