A breakup often involves many changes; there can be a change in your living arrangements, your routines, your status, your wealth and for the children, all of which can be overwhelming. Change for most people can be difficult, and it can be especially challenging if you didn’t want the change in the first place. You can feel that you have lost control and the things that you would normally be able to handle with easy can suddenly feel demanding.
Gary believes that everybody has the power to handle the changes in their life after a breakup. Once you change your perspective and start to see the opportunities and the good things that are happening for you, once you start making decisions that need to be made you start to feel the control come back into your life. Gary’s first major decision was to move his ex-wife and children closer to him.
Men are wired differently to women look at breakups from a different perspective. While men often worry about the necessaries like putting a roof over their families heads, making sure they provide a lifestyle and make ends meet, women come from a more holistic approach.
One of the strategies Gary used to help him through his divorce was to focus on starting a new company, which he put his heart and soul into; it bought positive energy into his day. He was angry at his ex-wife for the breakup and could see this anger was affecting the children so he made a conscious decision to change the anger into love, and once he did this the children felt a lot better, his anger issue disappeared. People often don’t think that have the power to change their thought so they don’t try.
Gary wakes up every morning and wonders what wonderful thing is going to happen to him today and then spends the rest of the day looking for it to happen. Gratitude is underrated and the more you appreciate what is coming to you the more it comes into your life. If you ask for help people will give it to you and the help and support comes from family, friends and the people that you work with.
Garry’s book ‘Szen Zone: Reaching a State of Positive Change’ is a compilation of heart warming and inspirational short stories that celebrate the power in each of us to create positive change in our lives. The general overarching theme of the book is change and all of the aspects of it - creating, surviving, and managing change with the goal to recognize the power we have to create positive change in our lives and be what we want to be.